Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Free Rice

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

Answer vocab questions and help starving people. Simple.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Music

This post will not have a point, structure, or direction whatsoever. It is simply a stream of consciousness, so it may be rather confusing. Or maybe it won't.

What's the deal with music? I recently came to a revelation that I really don't give two shits about music at all, despite the fact I may seem very adamant about the preservation of rock and roll. I don't even really listen to rock. For me, music is something to hear, and not to listen to, while I'm driving or working. Everybody else seems to be partially defined by the music that they listen to. Some people are consumed by music and aren't even musicians. Maybe that's why the idea of concerts never appealed to me.

I do not deny music can move you feet and your emotions. And that's great. But I don't really like the idea of being a fan of a certain band or artist. A fan of a certain song or album? That's much easier to get into or to keep track of. When you think about it, it takes quite a lot of time , money, and effort to get into a whole new band. For me, it has always sufficed to listen to a band's Best Of compilation or most famous album.

I will never stop appreciating the spirit of rock in all of its forms, but rock has not made me a different person whatsoever. Music is a simply fun diversion that has had zero impact on my life or personality, however it seems to me the same could not be said about many others.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Hey, I have readers!

I don't believe it; I though it would never get this far. Last week, I had four readers: my brother, sister, dad, and buddy Adam.

Now I have at least six.

I mentioned this venture of mine to Adam in passing, and several weeks later a classmate and knee touching partner of mine, Kylie, mentioned that she read my blog, and "liked the part where I talked about dry humping". Who knows how many ears and mouths the word of this journal had passed through between Adam and Kylie? (Knee touching is an inside joke.)

Yet regardless, I now have a reader base. A loyal cadre of attentive followers. A road crew, if you will. I'm starting, undoubtedly, on the road to blogging superstardom. But what does this mean for the future; for me? Will I go down the road of sex, drugs, and alcohol like rising blogstars before me? Will experimentations in my writing lead me to construct pretentious or unintelligible babble? But no matter what grievance, you will forgive me for it. Because you are my fans, and love me.

Or is it a different path I'm on; without the freedom I once had as a little-known blogger, am I no longer allowed to offend people as my audience expands? Is my "free" speech restricted at the mercy of the glass heart and the ambulance chaser? My lifelong dream of writing a thesis on how middle school kids are all idiots may be in jeopardy if my professional blogging career is to remain aloft, lest I fall into the Don Imus trap.

I vow to you now dear readers. I will remain on the blue road of journalistic and creative honesty for as long as I can, but who's to say the blue road has no detours?

...Aww hell, none of yu probably even realize the significance of the road being blue, or probably even care that I misspelled you. Hey, that sorta rhymed.

"These pretzels are making me racist!"

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A Few of My Favorite Words, Invention Edition

Juxtaposisive- As previously established, Juxtaposition is one of my favorite words. And as you can imagine, I almost had a heart attack when I realized it didn't have an adjective form. So I just made it up.

Cyclectic- Similar to juxtaposisive, I made up cyclectic when I notice there was no adjective form of cycle. Cyclectic sounds similar to eclectic, which is another of my favorite words.

Okay- My browser's spellcheck doesn't recognize okay, so I call dibs on the patent rights.

Conversate- Apparently, this isn't a real word either.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Obscure Web Jargon

The following are recurring gags for the whole of internet subculture. These originate from websites such as 4chan or YTMND, and only frequenters thereof will understand what has happened when one of these gags are made.

An Hero- One who has committed suicide. Telling someone to "become an hero" is equivalent to saying "kill yourself".
Person A: "My girlfriend dumped me."
Person B: "Become an hero."
Person A: "Fuck you."

Rickrolled- To be Rickrolled means you have been tricked into clicking a link that presumably leads somewhere intersting, but instead is a hidden link to a Rick Astley music video. This is made immeasurably more annoying if the link is must be copied and pasted.
Person A: "Hey! It's a trailer for Halo 4! http://youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0"
Person B: "Fuck you."

Bel-Air'd- A tactic similar to Rickrolling, except in writing. Typically begins with an emotionally intense or highly amusing anecdote, but abruptly Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.
Person A: "Huh? Oh wait, I see what you did there."
Person B: "Fuck you."

Caturday- A tradition wherein users of imageboards post funny pictures of cats on Saturday. It is commonly accepted that cats are the only form of life for which hackers have any sympathy. It is also commonly accepted that every day is Caturday.
Person A: "Hey look! Here's a picture of my cat climbing a wall!"
Person B: "Awww :3"

-fag(suffix)- Originating from a slur for people of the homosexual persuasion, the suffix "fag" can be applied to most anything.
Namefag- User who posts with a username when posting anonymously is the more popular choice.
Newfag- A new user who pretends not to be a new user, yet give his or herself away upon making themselves look like an idiot.
Chainsawfag- A Gears of War combatant who uses the chainsaw bayonet way too much. Cheap ass.

This is what happens when art is rushed.

Friday, November 9, 2007

I Have a Three Day Weekend.

It's a very nice weekend. I think I'll hang it in the window.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Things I'd Rather do than Go to the Homecoming Dance.

There's really quite a lot of them.

-Watch Dateline: To Catch a Predator, the greatest TV show in history.
-Throw eggs at the school gymnasium. Sure, nobody inside would be aware, but its the statement that counts.
-Listen to GOOD music.
-Complain about things, and maybe consider making a post about it later.
-Park outside the school and insult people as they walk into the dance.
-Take an epic number two.
-Dance. As opposed to jumping up and down inarticulately.
-Avoid images of dry humping like the plague.
-Break and/or hit things.
-Watch more To Catch a Predator.
-Admire shiny objects, and perhaps hang them in my window.
-Spam people's Facebook pages.
-See if Dog the Bounty Hunter is on, hoping he actually gets to mace someone this time. Like watching Nascar and hoping there's a crash.
-Try to not suck so bad at online shooters.
-Chew my tongue.
-Construct sting operations to catch predators.
-Sleep.
-Play Guitar Hero III.
-Wonder how some people can be so shit faced and arrogant.
-Juggle with one hand. And one ball. Laying on my back. An exact science my brother has perfected.
-Cut my toenails.
-Expand my meager musical repertoire.
-Procrastinate my homework.
-Sharpen pencils.
-Write.
-Complain.
-Watch To Catch a Predator.

Friday, November 2, 2007

A Few of My Favorite Words, Part 2

Cunt- The most explicit word in the English language. I don't care what anybody says. There are only two situations in which it is socially acceptable to use this word: when you REALLY mean it, or if you don't mean it at all and using it out of context. Like right now.

Berserker- Historically, the berserkers were Scandinavian warriors who would dress in bear skin and smoke hashish before charging into battle. The word berserk actually means bear skin. I have hijacked this word to also refer to a Man's Man. One who can adjudicate peaceful solutions but can duel-wield a battleaxe and a claymore with the best of them should the situation arise.
ALSO: A miniboss in Gears of War, a death metal song sang by Olaf in the movie Clerks, a character class in countless role playing games, and many other things.


Fantabulomagnifique- Queerest word I could think of. I might top it later.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Oh, Screw It.

NO MORE DAILY UPDATES. I'm doing this as often as I feel like. LOVE IT.

It's All Hallow's Eve tonight. My costume this year is the guitarist Buckethead. He's famous for his alternative style that mixes metal and techno and also his weird and minimalist stage appearance: a cape, white plastic mask, and a KFC bucket on his head, hence his stage name. Of course all I have is the bucket.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Launch, Pt. 2

Eh. There were like, twenty other people there. It was pretty cool.

Been playing GH3 practically nonstop since I got it, save for a 4-hour nap. Now my brain and my fingers are numb as... I dunno. Something really numb.

I'm going to bed. I promise updates will be more worth reading starting tomorrow.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Launch

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday (all three of you). So instead, you get two today. The second will be recounting my experience of waiting in line for Guitar Hero III.

The first will apologize for the lack of yesterday's post and tell you what the second post will be. Oh, wait...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Crappy Poetry

I wrote this poem at the end of last year for my English class. It received general positive feedback. And because I'm burnt out tonight thanks to THIS year's English class and don't feel likw writing any original content, I present it to you copied and pasted with no elaborating commentary at all. I'm a bit proud of it myself, and I hope you enjoy it

If birds of a feather flock together

Then what becomes of a lizard like me

Who is inexplicably linked with

Yet essentially separate from

The contrived and sophomoric flocks

Conforming to their own conformities?

Wandering in the confusion and solitude

Of stupid irrelevant High School

This game, this competition

This Olympics of plastic politics

Right in front of our eyes

Yet so obscure, so flawed

Is Bullshit

Where do I fit in this competition?

What’s my position? What will I win?

What’s the score? Why should I care?

Would I rather be ignorant

Or lethargic or apathetic

To escape this machine of idiocy?

Is it disgust or jealousy burning when I see

The girl who got a freaking Lexus for her birthday?

Or the names gracing the jerseys

worn by all the cute girls on game day?

Or that one guy who plays in that one band?

Those I respect have always told me

To be myself

And a great deal of good honesty has done for me

Honesty the world looks past

Seeing only false reputations

Caused by misunderstanding and circumstance

Now the world accuses me of being a creep

Or a weirdo or an asshole or a god or a berserker

Or whatever

If that’s the reward for honesty

Then maybe a mask would be preferable

Mask or not, it would make no difference

The world wouldn’t know me either way

If my self image is not skewed

Then it feels the world does not accept me

But it is not acceptance I seek

For if the world accepts each other

Then maybe my solitude is preferable to their ignorance

At least where ever I am is a place

Of conscience and consciousness

I pray high school is not a microcosm

For life in the real world

Because this really sucks dick


I'm not a negative person, really, I swear.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I Need to Up Promotion

Seriously. Nobody beside my brother, sister, and a few friends even know this thing exists. I could write whatever the fuck I want here.

Japanese TV has some weird stuff.

My spellcheck highlights "ok" and "okay", which is kinda odd. But it doesn't highlight "kinda". But it DOES highlight spellceck. The irony.

Some would call this post "stream of conscience", other would call it "writer's block filler". I call it "homework procrastination."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A Few of My Favorite Words, Part 1

Segment doesn't require much explanation and I'm tired.

Juxtaposition- The stark of unlike things. For instance, seeing a fancy car in a third world country is a juxtaposition. Foil characters like R2-D2 and C-3Po is a juxtaposition; one character is small and adventurous, the other is humanoid and cowardly.

Douche Bag- The worst word you can call a male. Douche bags are characterized by arrogance, rudeness, belligerence, and a positive self image which exists solely as a wall to hide inner incompetence or insecurity.

Shit- A seriously fun word to say in conjunction with other less explicative. Examples: Oh shit son, shit balls, shit head, shit fit, lose my shit, shitfest, and nincomshit. The last one is an invention of my own. Hey, wait...

Nincomshit- Less flowery play on nincompoop.

Dragonforce- Hardest substance known to mankind. Also the name of a British power metal band.

Ideology- But only when its pronounced iddy-ology in stead of idea-ology.

Monday, October 22, 2007

On Video Games

The three greatest games of all time are Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero II, and Guitar Hero: Rocks the 80's. This is a fact. All arguments to this fact are about as valid as arguments against the nonexistence of God.

Video games are the best form of interactive media there is. This is largely because it's the ONLY form of interactive media. Rock and roll is the best musical genre there is, because it covers everything from The Beatles to Dragonforce. Basically, if its now hip-hop, pop, orchestral, or some ultra-alternative genre, then its some form of rock.

Now put those two together. The product is literally months worth of fun. The game is a juxtaposition of generation-defining graphics and technology and 30-year old gameplay. The controller is shaped like a guitar; playing the game makes you look as ridiculous as possible without looking like a complete jackass. Dance Dance Revolution... Oh, what? Sorry I trailed off for a second there. The point is, everyone wants to be a rock star, and with Guitar Hero, you can come pretty damn close without actually learning an instrument.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday, Sunday!

Don't feel like writing today, so Sundays are my official days off.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Rap, School Dances, and General Idiocy

Rap sucks. Being hip hop's retarded cousin, the genre has a lot to live up to, and it fails miserably, save for a few gems. Many rap songs contain crude, blunt sexual references, which contrast starkly with the more artfully presented innuendos present in the far superior rock and roll genre. For instance, you'd be hard pressed to find a rap song that DOESN'T ask its audience to suck and fuck the performer. In the case of rock and roll, the worst Guns n' Roses ever asked of us was to "turn around bitch, I've got a use for you." And the "use" isn't even specified. For all we know Axl and Slash needed to practice their chiropractics. Rap also sucks because asshole drivers blast it in their fancy cars. I can tell they're assholes because they drive fancy cars.

School dances also suck, but largely because of rap, and its inexplicable position as the current most popular genre. (This generalization also likely extends to many house clubs, however being the sheltered youth that I am, I can only assume so.) Literally the only type of music played and dances is rap. Thousands of teenage girls dry hump the night away at homecoming every year within a mire of lyrics about oral sex and ejaculation. I am even beginning to believe they're also oblivious to the fact that their "dancing" looks more like pantomime fucking.

I'll likely be attending my school's homecoming dance, ironically. And if the DJ's take requests, you can bet I'm making mine Black Dog. Heaven forbid you play a song ABOUT dancing at a DANCE.

Friday, October 19, 2007

On Hearts

The heart shape, and with it its connotations of love and relation to the human mind and soul, dates at least back to the Greeks; the shape was synonymous with Aphrodite, goddess of love. Since then, many of the greatest thinkers of their time like Aristotle and DiVinci associated the shape and symbole with the mind and the soul. The origin of the shape itself is said to lie in mating swans or the wings of a dove.

Undeniably the most powerful and evocative of all shades on the emotional spectrum, it can cause people to act irrationally. Perhaps the opposite of love is logic, and thus, mathematics. This begs me to ask why on the clusterfucking Earth do we use mathematical symbols to represent it? Why is such a complex emotion allowed to culminate into a value less than three? I refer now to the <3 emoticon.

Most defiantly an invention of teenage girls, the double-edged swords of society, the <3 emoticon scarcely even resembles the shape it's supposed to, and it is the antithesis of what the symbol means. Mathematical characters should ideally never be used to represent emotional symbols, period. And not only is the <3 self-contradictory, it is also highly impractical. The < and 3 keys are on opposite relative sides of the keyboard, and the shift key must also be utilized to activate ONE of the characters, but not the other. This is, as my dear reader can imagine, an intensely hardcore inconvenience, and in my experience, it shatters the stride of any keystroke.

Of course I oftentimes stop and think to myself when I find myself on a tangent whether or not I have my panties in a bunch about nothing. Indeed, the <3 emoticon is despicable in many ways, but perhaps the heart itself is as well. Sure it was the logo of Aphrodite, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out she was more the goddess of sex than of love. It is also debated where the shape of the heart comes from in the first place. Bluntly, it doesn't even take a middle school kid to conclude that a heart looks more like tits and ass than doves and swans.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Greetings and Salutations

Welcome, dear reader, to the Wonderful World of Will.

Many of my compatriots oftentimes ask me, if not wonder to themselves, just what makes Will Smith tick? Well with this periodic public journal, I hope to shed light on my imagination, my opinions, and my unanimously unique take on the world around me.

Oh good God. I sounded like a pretentious shit eating motherfucker there, didn't I? Fret not, dear reader. I pray I won't bore you in the future with bombastic and dull essays or contrived grandeur-deluded narratives. No, rest assured reader. My writings here will be found insightful and... Damn, I ran out of big words. FUCK Y'ALL YANKEE BLUE JEANS!