Friday, November 30, 2007

Obscure Web Jargon

The following are recurring gags for the whole of internet subculture. These originate from websites such as 4chan or YTMND, and only frequenters thereof will understand what has happened when one of these gags are made.

An Hero- One who has committed suicide. Telling someone to "become an hero" is equivalent to saying "kill yourself".
Person A: "My girlfriend dumped me."
Person B: "Become an hero."
Person A: "Fuck you."

Rickrolled- To be Rickrolled means you have been tricked into clicking a link that presumably leads somewhere intersting, but instead is a hidden link to a Rick Astley music video. This is made immeasurably more annoying if the link is must be copied and pasted.
Person A: "Hey! It's a trailer for Halo 4! http://youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0"
Person B: "Fuck you."

Bel-Air'd- A tactic similar to Rickrolling, except in writing. Typically begins with an emotionally intense or highly amusing anecdote, but abruptly Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.
Person A: "Huh? Oh wait, I see what you did there."
Person B: "Fuck you."

Caturday- A tradition wherein users of imageboards post funny pictures of cats on Saturday. It is commonly accepted that cats are the only form of life for which hackers have any sympathy. It is also commonly accepted that every day is Caturday.
Person A: "Hey look! Here's a picture of my cat climbing a wall!"
Person B: "Awww :3"

-fag(suffix)- Originating from a slur for people of the homosexual persuasion, the suffix "fag" can be applied to most anything.
Namefag- User who posts with a username when posting anonymously is the more popular choice.
Newfag- A new user who pretends not to be a new user, yet give his or herself away upon making themselves look like an idiot.
Chainsawfag- A Gears of War combatant who uses the chainsaw bayonet way too much. Cheap ass.

This is what happens when art is rushed.

Friday, November 9, 2007

I Have a Three Day Weekend.

It's a very nice weekend. I think I'll hang it in the window.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Saturday, November 3, 2007

The Things I'd Rather do than Go to the Homecoming Dance.

There's really quite a lot of them.

-Watch Dateline: To Catch a Predator, the greatest TV show in history.
-Throw eggs at the school gymnasium. Sure, nobody inside would be aware, but its the statement that counts.
-Listen to GOOD music.
-Complain about things, and maybe consider making a post about it later.
-Park outside the school and insult people as they walk into the dance.
-Take an epic number two.
-Dance. As opposed to jumping up and down inarticulately.
-Avoid images of dry humping like the plague.
-Break and/or hit things.
-Watch more To Catch a Predator.
-Admire shiny objects, and perhaps hang them in my window.
-Spam people's Facebook pages.
-See if Dog the Bounty Hunter is on, hoping he actually gets to mace someone this time. Like watching Nascar and hoping there's a crash.
-Try to not suck so bad at online shooters.
-Chew my tongue.
-Construct sting operations to catch predators.
-Sleep.
-Play Guitar Hero III.
-Wonder how some people can be so shit faced and arrogant.
-Juggle with one hand. And one ball. Laying on my back. An exact science my brother has perfected.
-Cut my toenails.
-Expand my meager musical repertoire.
-Procrastinate my homework.
-Sharpen pencils.
-Write.
-Complain.
-Watch To Catch a Predator.

Friday, November 2, 2007

A Few of My Favorite Words, Part 2

Cunt- The most explicit word in the English language. I don't care what anybody says. There are only two situations in which it is socially acceptable to use this word: when you REALLY mean it, or if you don't mean it at all and using it out of context. Like right now.

Berserker- Historically, the berserkers were Scandinavian warriors who would dress in bear skin and smoke hashish before charging into battle. The word berserk actually means bear skin. I have hijacked this word to also refer to a Man's Man. One who can adjudicate peaceful solutions but can duel-wield a battleaxe and a claymore with the best of them should the situation arise.
ALSO: A miniboss in Gears of War, a death metal song sang by Olaf in the movie Clerks, a character class in countless role playing games, and many other things.


Fantabulomagnifique- Queerest word I could think of. I might top it later.